Why am I like this?

Me, Layered in Levels of Love

Why Am I Like This?

I am in a whirlwind romance with self and truly digging deeper into the varied facets that exist within my one being. It is that notion, that within one being there is an astonishingly vast amount of “me” that exists. That shows up as me being revealed through my gifts, through my intuitive perspectives, through my dynamic presence and in my ownership of everything I discover about myself. Everything I discover is not always great. Somethings I discover are toxic, trapped energy that has carried over from something I needed to let go that I am still holding onto. It is the harmful ideas that I have about myself as a result of the garden of gifting and essences that I have not been watering, that are deeply needing nourishment, that are letting off harmful toxins which catch rides on my thought waves while simultaneously polluting them.

Why am I like this? We often ask that question aloud and pose it to someone else outside of ourselves who we believe is better equipped at answering it that we are ourselves. When actually, they cannot answer that question. No one can.

It’s this deep work and honoring myself that helps me address the question- Why am I like this? We often ask that question aloud and pose it to someone else outside of ourselves who we believe is better equipped at answering it than we are ourselves. When actually, they cannot answer that question. No one can. What they can do, if they are centered, compassionate, and skilled enough is turn on the lights within us and guide us back toward our inner lighthouse and help us to navigate ourselves until the answers we seek is revealed from ourselves to ourselves. They listen for clues and they take inventory of what they hear and witness and help you put the pieces together. They ask questions that help them understand your story blueprint and they help you find your buried treasure. That treasure chest may hold anything. It could be a chest full of love letters from you to you that got intercepted and lost in the mail. It could hold a mirror that reflects your greatness. It could hold the crown you took off and forgot to put back on. It could hold your roots, to remind you of your ancestors and where you come from. It could hold the love of God that you had forgotten was yours. Whatever it is, it is yours already and it is within you, it’s just been locked away and temporarily lost inside of you buried under “STUFF.” Your brilliance had been blocked and you need help getting it unlocked. This is what I learned from therapy. I talked and talked and talked and she listened and asked questions that made me talk in the direction of unlocking my treasure box. She didn’t know where it was, what was in it, nor did she have the key to unlock it. She was just a safe space, a guide that made me feel safe enough to go deeper in the deep end of myself.

There is this huge fear of rejection…

I have so much to offer the world, and that scares me because of the sheer audacity of even believing that. There is a huge fear of rejection, because what if all I believe I have to offer is not what anyone finds valuable? What if it is not accepted? What if it doesn’t make sense? I have come to believe that thinking of that is limiting and honestly, I don’t have time for limitations. I have work that I love and I will put it out whether people like it or not. So, there!